


Sugar and Spice

by macaronislut



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alex is pretty feminine, Alexander is a Prostitute, Anal, Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Best Friends, Blow Jobs, Bottom! Alex, Clubbing, Daddy Kink, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Gay Panic, I don’t know how to tag JAJA, If You Squint - Freeform, M/M, Massage, Prostitution, Sex Worker, Smut, Threesome - M/M/M, Top! Thomas, alot of it, how to tag, in thaurens John is bottom though, tags to be added in the future, there’s an application where you can scroll through prostitutes, top! John, yes it’s real
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2020-10-28 21:32:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20785367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/macaronislut/pseuds/macaronislut
Summary: Alexander's life went nowhere but downhill. From being a poor highschool student, to suddenly being pushed to the streets, to ending up as a prostitute always on the verge of passing out... He didnt know what to do anymore. He didnt know what he needed to uplift his life.Then, he met them.His sugar and spice.





	1. raindrops and late night decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John accidentally stumbles upon a new app called Rendevu, made for searching for sex workers near your location. He also happens to be half asleep while making a certain decision.

* * *

“_I... I love you.” A blurry version of John confessed, hands supporting eachother as he all but shouted. His face was a loud pink and his eyes were glued on the floor as he awaited a response anxiously. Sweat trailed down his freckled skin and he felt as if he could pass out, his feet near to losing balance._

_ “Im sorry, what?” The voice that he had known for so many years sounded rough, sounded as if he were about to burst out into laughter, unkind. No..Thomas sounded too...rude. This wasn't him. _

_“Thomas, im in love with you,” The freckled man repeated, arms now against his own chest. Then, the southerner's face that once bared a kind, patient expression, turned into one of...disgust? His eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes seemed judging, cold. John could feel his breath speed up and his lungs feel tight, barely breathing in a gasp. He glanced at him in fear. This wasnt him. _

_ “...What the hell, why are you such a freak, John?” **This wasnt him—! **_

John shot up from his bed, eyebrows furrowed as he looked at his own shaking hands. He was panting slightly, his eyes were wide and his face was all sweaty, his light hazel curls sticking to his cheeks.

He tried to regulate his breathing, taking in his surroundings. Cold. The room was cold. Warm. His body was warm. He looked to his right to see his window blurred out from the rain and the soft pitter - patter of the drops hitting against the crystal. He looked to his left to see the bed next to him empty. Huh? Thomas wasn't home yet? He said he was going out, but that was four hours ago. It was already ten... John sighed, wishing all his worries would just go away with said action as he stood up from his bed and stretched his arms gently.

He let his covers fall to the floor and he stepped out of their room, opening the door with little force. He walked in their kitchen and looked up at the clock. 10:41 PM. He frowned before, speak of the devil, he heard the door click and open. He felt a brief feeling of relief wash over his body. He turned around from the counter and made out a tired smile, “What took you so long?” He opened the fridge and took out a bottle of water, bringing it to his lips. “Sorry. I was hanging out with Al—” He seemed to pause, stuttering a bit. “Uh...Angelica, and then i went to eat and lost track of time. Hope you didn't wait up.” John didn’t think much of it and shook his head at the southerner, “No, it's fine. I just woke up.” Thomas hummed and left his phone and jacket on the counter. Hm.. He always did look good in that leather jacket. Though it was a bit wet from the rain. “Okay. I'm gonna shower, so, Goodnight, Jacky,” Thomas winked at John, making said man feel weak in his knees and nod quickly.

“Night, Tom.”

John walked back to their room and threw himself on the bed, groaning into the pillow. He wished the damn covers just swallowed him. The green-eyed man sighed and laid on his back, staring holes into the ceiling above him. He felt exhaustion, so much so he couldn’t focus, yet he couldn’t sleep. Damnit.

He knew Thomas and that damn schuyler sister had something. He noticed the way Thomas' cheeks were slightly red as he saw John, he noticed how messy his usually perfect curls were and he damn well noticed the way he looked at her at times. Damn it all.

Why couldn't Thomas love him? Why couldn't anyone love him in general? What did he have that scared people away? What did he have that made him somehow unlovable? What could he do about it? None of his crushes ever worked out. He almost had hope with Thomas.. Were the times he sneakily kissed the top of his head just in his head? Did Thomas even like the sole idea of kissing John? Who was he kidding? Of course he didn't. 

John glared at the floor before covering his face with his hands harshly. Why? They got along so well. They were best friends. Hell, they shared an apartment together! They met on their first year of college and got close ever since then. They shared alot of interests and perks, they trusted eachother completely, talked all the time, and they were pretty touchy for a friendship..there had to be something. Apperantly not. They had been together for years, why? His feelings were there since the beginning. And even if Thomas showed some signs... He didnt want his hopes to get the best of him. John shook his head as he felt tears threaten to fall and he wiped his eyes with his covers.

He got out his phone which lied on the nightstand and decided to just get his mind off things with scrolling down the internet, like usual. This was how life went. Thomas hadnt left the shower yet, which wasnt rare considering he took his time. John kind of worried for the water bill, but then Thomas reminded him that sure, they weren’t rich, they did always have money to spare. Another thing they had in common.

Just some hours in, the time read 4 AM and John was invested in his fifth buzzfeed article until something caught his eye. Wait. What? He was just reading about sea animals and dumb recipes that he totally wasnt planning on using for Thomas, and some long article about how gay people could get gayer with certain foods.

So, why the hell did he find _this? _

_**Technology **_

**New ‘Uber For Escorts’ Rendevu App Helps Sex Workers Stay Safe **

By Yourm Omlol. 

It was an article talking about an uber-like app which was for ordering prostitutes. 

Okay, in all honesty, John clicked on it for three reasons. For one, he was tired as fuck. His head kind of hurt, his vision was blurry, his mind was foggy. Second, he was curious. Third, it sounded kind of funny and amusing at the same time. Was this how humanity was evolving?

Said article talked about an application that was more of a website, probably because of a legal tape they couldn't get past. It was called Rendevu. You basically looked over people's profiles, their prices, reviews and location before you chose to get them with the click of a button.

Honestly... He didnt really take it that seriously. It was funny, right. Psssh. Absolutely Ridiculous. Super fucking hilarious. And it was, of course, totally humorous when he actually got on it and signed up.

_Oh my god, John, why are you like this? _

The awake part of John's brain spoke as he scrolled down. Yep. This was totally just because he was bored and curious. This type of shit was so strange. Its not like he was interested or even considering. John scrolled over the page, eyes half lidded as he yawned a bit. The bright white backround kind of hurt his eyes. From what he saw, the application didn’t seem to offer much to his taste. He didn’t know why he even considered it. 

Most of it was filled with women, women, women, women, women, women, women, and...

He almost dropped his phone on his face. An _angel_? No, a **_man_**. What? No. It had to be an angel.

He rubbed his eyes as if to understand clearly what he was seeing. He blinked in disbelief. John felt as if his heart skipped a beat and his eyes widened as he examined a certain man on the screen. Holy shit. He... he was gorgeous. Beautiful. Shit. 

He immediately looked over his information. Alexander Hamilton, The name rolled off his tounge perfectly. His eyes were a beautiful bright brown with dark spots here and there and his hair was down in the picture, straight, brunette locks that seemed so comfortable to run his fingers through. His skin was pale and looked pretty soft. He looked so petite, it was adorable. The photo quality wasnt the best, but it wasnt too much of a bother. He could still see that he had a small, cute beauty mark right below his right eye and oh god his lips. 

His lips were plump, but not too plump to look fake. They were a pretty pink, and hell, they looked so kissable. Especially in that playful smile the brunette gave the camera. Jesus. John felt as if he fell in love all over again.

His finger hovered over the chat button, his bottom lip between his teeth. He knew he made bad decisions whenever it was past twelve. He knew that in the morning, he was going to scream at himself. His head was banging in pain, as if his consciousness was warning him. He knew all too well how he was going to regret this but as he took one more look at the beauty on his phone, he made the final decision.

Morning John can suck my dick.


	2. cafes and the love alexander didn’t know he needed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John goes on a ‘date’ with a certain someone he texted the night prior and said certain someone learns new things.

John groaned and rolled his eyes internally at the sound of his blaring alarm as the day came. The morning sun glared over him as he engulfed himself in his covers and he blindly fetched for his phone. He felt exhausted, as if he hadn’t slept for days. He didn’t commonly stay up for too long, but when he did, he would always regret it in the morning. He gave a long yawn, stretching his back. Then he turned his alarm off, and he lowered the brightness of his phone screen. 

He noticed his most recent tab, probably what he fell asleep staring at last night. He was ready to swipe it away, seeing it as it was from google before he paused. It didn’t seem like an article or anything, Wait, were those text messages? He didn’t enter a random gay forum last night, did he? What did he do now?

John didn’t remember much about what he was up to last night, but when he read the last message, it read: “Alright, Johnny ❤️ See you then.”

Huh? He raised an eyebrow and shuffled, changing position from his bed. He took his blankets off, eyes staring at his screen. He scrolled up, reading their texts and he suddenly felt a deep feeling in his stomach. 

Oh fucking god. 

He got a fucking prostitute at 4 AM. 

He read over the texts over and over, trying to find a clue as to why he would even do this. He didnt believe it. His ass really did this shit! He almost laughed if he wasnt so nervous. Thomas would tease the living fuck out of him if he told him this. This was going completely unmentioned.

He inhaled deeply and sighed, “Oh my god,” He pinched the bridge of his nose and rolled his eyes. “Well, whats the worse that could happen, am i right?” John murmured to himself before standing up from his bed and stretching. He opened the door and smiled as he saw Thomas cooking their breakfast, as usual. The man wore his hair pinned back with some green pins he didn’t recognize and a dark purple t-shirt. He wore some grey, soft and comfortable pants. He was so handsome, it was so unfair.

“Morning.” John waved. “Mornin'.” Thomas gave him a grin and waved back.

John stood next to the counter and rested his cheek on his palm, looking at his crush up and down. “Im making us some scrambled eggs.” John nodded with a hum, “Do they-”

“Yes, Jack, they have ham.” John smiled and sat down on the couch. “Why would you ever doubt me?” Thomas asked with a soft laugh as he turned the stove off and scratched the scrambled eggs on two seperate bowls. He got some coffee for both of them and put extra sugar in John's, letting some cinammon down on his own cup. “Thanks, Tom,” John chirped before starting to eat.

“Youre welcome.”

~ 

At 4 PM, John was tying up his hair and putting on a nice shirt to meet Alex at a cafe to then drive to the man's apartment. He still couldn't believe he was doing this, he had already payed too, so he really couldnt just back away from this. Deep down, he knew he wouldn’t anyway. He was surprised his tired self remembered his credit card information. He got a nice pair of jeans and washed his face before looking at himself in the mirror, nodding at his reflection in confirmation. Yeah. He looked fine. It wasnt as if his clothes mattered anyway, since they were probably gonna end up on the floor. He had to remind himself that this was not a date.

One last look and he was out of the apartment building, playing with the hem of his shirt as he walked to his car. He got in the car and started it, bringing his shoulders down to help some tension in his body. He fixed the little mirror on the front and started driving to the cafe next to their apartment and college, chewing on the inside of his cheek. Snap out of it! He was gonna be just fine. John shook his head and rolled his eyes at himself before continuing to set his eyes on the road.

As he finally reached his destination after what felt like hours of driving, he parked his car and took his keys out. He opened the door and closed it, walking down the parking lot while he admired the foggy sky. Today was a snowy, chilly day. He loved cold days like this, saw it as comforting in a way. He relished the feeling of the snow touching his freckled skin and smiled a bit, entering the place with a cold breath. His eyes darted around the room, looking for the brunette he saw last night until he spotted him and almost melted. Fuck, he was even cuter in real life.

John slowly walked over to where the man was seated and took his appearance in. Damn, he looked stunning. 

His hair was down to his shoulders, a bun on the back tied with a green tie. He wore some familiar green pins on his hair, helping the bun stay up. They matched his apple green top, which was worn with some light blue jeans. He seemed incredibly attractive, he felt like his throat had tightened up. Then those gorgeous, brown eyes made contact with his and he could almost die. 

The male, no, Alexander looked up at John, a knowing smirk on his lips. “You know, i can look even prettier than this if we go to my apartment.” John blinked in surprise before he realized he was staring for a bit too long. “Sorry. Nice to actually meet ya,” John offered him his hand to shake, and Alexander took it.

“Nice to meet you too, freckles.” Alexander winked at him. “How 'bout we get in your ca-”

“Huh? No, let's talk. We got time.” Alexander blinked and looked at him with his eyebrows raised but nodded. What... Was the man planning exactly? “Sure.” He caressed John's knuckes with his fingers and rested his face in his hand. “What do you wanna talk about, Johnnyboy?”

“I dont know, where are you from? Your hobbies? Stuff like that,” John shrugged. “I wanna get to know you.”

Even if the words were words that John saw as only polite, Alexander seemed taken aback by the words coming out of the freckled man’s mouth, staring like he was some sort of ghost. “I mean, I’d love to. But, Im a prostitute—What'd would be so interesting about me?” 

John shook his head quickly, “That doesnt change anything! C'mon, Lex.” Alexander's cheeks felt warm at the nickname, a small chuckle leaving past his lips. Though, this was confusing. Very, very, confusing. His clients were definetily never like this. They were usually bold, rude, straight to the point or just impatient. But John, for some god forsaken reason was wanting to take his time and talk to him before - hand, he actually thought he was interesting? Who was this man and who sent him?

“Well..I'm from the caribbean, and in my non existent free time i like to write.” Alexander smirked, “Now, as i was sayi-” 

“That's cool! What do you write? Poems? Stories? Thoughts?” The freckled man asked with curious, bright eyes. Okay. It was adorable, Alexander had to say it. He couldn't really bring himself to get annoyed at this. He probably didnt know how this whole thing worked and to be honest, it made the male sitting across from him even cuter.

Alexander was taken aback to say the least, though. He enjoyed talking about what he liked, and he never got to, so he quickly started talking again. “I like writing all those three, Mostly poems,” He looked at John with a more happy expression. “Poems are a great way to get your feelings out! Whenever I'm feeling happy, or upset, or anything else, theres always a pen there for me.” John nodded, listening intently. “I'd love to read one of yours some time.” John smiled kindly and Alexander felt himself swoon. How could someone be so cute and hot at the same time? It's ridiculous.

They were probably gonna stay here for about an hour, but honestly, Alexander stopped caring about that fact just some minutes ago. He needed someone to talk to.

In the hour they spent at the cafe rambling, Alexander learned about how John loved making art, remixing music and sea creatures. They had fun, it was the first time Alexander had genuienly smiled in a while and it was a nice change. By the time they were leaving, it was already 6 and they were headed to Alexander's apartment. Then he remembered his job. Alexander held onto John's arm during the drive, grinning at him as he occasionally said things to make John's ears go pink. As soon as they got to his apartment, Alexander opened the door and let him in. Yes, it was kind of a mess, but John didnt mind.

Alexander locked the door and gestured for John to sit down. He did, and thats when the brunette swiftly took his jacket off and sat John's lap, straddling him. John bit his lip at the sight and was about to speak before he was cut off with those soft lips of Alexander's against John's. John hummed and let his eyes close as he savoured the other's lips. The freckled man's hand went to Alexander's waist and the other cupped his cheek as the caribbean nibbled on his lip. John got his thumb below Alexander's chin as the kiss got more heated and their tounges brushed eachother. They panted into eachother's mouths and pulled away after a bit, a trail of saliva connecting the two. “Johnny,” Alexander licked his lips and kissed his client's neck, leaving hickeys around his jaw.

“W-Wait, i wont be able to hide those-!” John protested but groaned when Alexander bit down on his neck instead. “Who cares? Everyone'll know you're getting laid,” He shrugged with a smile and took John's shirt off, throwing it across the room. “Yeah, but-” Alexander moved his face from his neck to face John, raising an eyebrow. “Do you want this or not?” Alexander murmured, their lips almost coming in contact. John nodded immediately as the question left the prostitute's lips and his breath quickened when Alexander's hand was on his zipper. “Then shut up and enjoy it, freckles,” Alexander winked and continued his treatment on his neck, mouth trailing down on his chest. He was going straight to the point.

While Alexander marked all of his freckled chest, his right hand was working on John's zipper, slowly turning it down. The sound only made John shudder, breaths ragged while the brunette licked across all the hickeys he had left, paying unique attention to each one. Alexander has reached his stomach and pevis before he knew it, biting softly into the skin, giggling a bit at the way John grunted. He finally pulled John's pants down, licking his lips at the sight that met him as he eventually took off his boxers. “Wow, you even have freckles on your dick,” Alexander pointed out with an excited grin. “I already know im gonna have fun with you.” He practically drooled over him before giving the glans of his dick a kiss. He took the pride in knowing that he made the man hard like this. 

He slathered his tounge around his cock and looked at him in the eye as he licked a stripe on a single vein. His cock twitched at the action. He smirked at the noises his client produced when took the head in his mouth, his hand stroking the rest of his member as he slowly took more of him in his mouth, a long groan leaving John's lips. The male clenched his teeth when Alexander went deeper on him, his hot, wet mouth closing around him and the caribbean smiled when John got his hand on his hair. “Can i..?” Alexander nodded and John tugged on his hair experimentally, and as he saw that the brunette didnt mind, he kept this on.

Soon, the only sound in the room was the sound of Alexander's muffled whines and John's low moans. John wasnt rough, like his usual clients. Not at all. Instead, he'd give the occasional pull on his hair but he was gentle and hesitant with most of his actions. It was adorable, in Alexander's opinion. The way he moaned out praises and rambled about how gorgeous and good Alex was made Alexander's heart flutter, even if he wouldn't admit it. Not a single client made him feel like this.. It was just from the heat of the moment, though. Yeah. Totally. It was.

Suddenly, his trance of thought was abruptly cut off the instant John’s fingers curled on his hair and thrusted his mouth all the way, a choked gasp leaving Alexander's parted lips. “Fuck-!” John threw his head back as his hips stuttered and he came into his mouth. Alexander moaned weakly at the feeling and licked his lips after John pulled his mouth away from his member. “Fuck, youre so hot,” John murmured but then shook his head. “I-I mean, sorry.. Was i too rough?” Alexander snorted, shaking his head. “You were anything but rough, Johnny.”

“... Are you sure? I shouldnt have-” Alexander sat back in his lap and pulled him in another kiss, John groaning at the way he tasted himself at the tip of the caribbean's tounge. “Shhh. You talk too much. How about you get to fucking me?” John just sighed and laid back as Alexander started taking off his own jeans. Shit. How could a man be so attractive? John was still in state of disbelief. Alexander was already taking off his underwear before John grabbed his hand and pushed him down against the couch. “Oh,” Alexander said in amusement and laughed softly.

“Is this..okay with you?” John asked, cocking his head. “For the last time, John, im a prostitu-”

“I know, i know! I-i just dont wanna hurt you,” The freckled man scratched the back of his neck bashfully. Alexander shook his head, “Ill be fine, Johnny,” He rolled his eyes with a smile, “But thank you.” John felt his heart skip a beat at his warm tone but shook it off. “Do you have any-?” Alexander nodded before the southerner could finish his sentence. He took a condom from behind the cushions and took some lube from under the sofa. John didn't question it, remembering it was his job and just took both items in his hand.

John stayed still for a moment, and somehow, Alexander already had read his mind. “No, John, i dont think i need prep.”

“But, won't you-?”

“Hun, its fine. Just be careful.” Alexander assured him with a dismissing hand. John nodded slowly and slid the condom over his member. He poured a generous amount of lube on his palms and rubbed it around the condom, lining himself up at Alexander's entrance.

Alexander spread his legs, wrapping them around John's waist, pulling him even closer. John licked his lips before sliding himself in smoothly, drawing out a groan from the male below him. He frowned at the discomfort in Alexander's face and pulled him into a kiss, surprising Alexander. He didnt move, he didnt hurry Alex, and it made the prostitute wonder who he was having sex with. This was so unusual, so strange. There were kisses pressed against his lips, neck, chest, and even hands. John whispered sweet words in Alex's ears and made sure he was atleast feeling a bit good as he stroked the brunette's member gently. He didnt fully understand why John cared about him so much, He was basically like a stranger.

Alexander closed his eyes and relaxed, leaning into the soft kisses. “You c-can move now,” Alexander gave him a nod. John looked at him for more confirmation before starting to slowly thrust into him, moaning at how Alexander squeezed tightly around him. “Fuck,” He groaned as his pace gradually got faster and Alexander mewled at the sensation. “Mmm, J-Johnny~” He panted as his breath hitched when John got his hand on his thigh. “Can i-?” Alexander interrupted him immediately, not even caring about what he would say. “I do-dont care about what you d-do, John, j-just-ah-go faster,” John nodded and grabbed Alexander's leg, laying it over his shoulder. “Gladly,” He hummed, beginning to thrust in a faster rythim.

“G-God, Fuck, John!” Alexander moaned and digged his nails into the sofa roughly. “Its so g-good, shit,” He gasped in pleasure and squirmed a bit, eyes twitching slightly when his lips were covered in a tender yet sloppy kiss. John panted against his mouth and let out a string of curses under his breath at both Alexander's sounds and ass. He buried his face in the petite male's neck, softly kissing and suckling, though he tried to avoid leaving hickeys in fear of hurting him.

John changed his angle so they could both be more comfortable but was surprised when the change caused Alexander to cry out. He stopped quickly and looked at him worriedly, studying the brunette's face carefully. What did he do? “Alex? I-I didnt hurt you, did i?!” He stuttered in fear and anxiety. Alexander stayed silent for a moment, not helping John's worries at all, if not worsening them. Then he sighed in relief when he saw Alexander rapidly shake his head. “No, you didn't, please keep g-going,” The male pleaded in a whiny voice and with needy eyes that made him go crazy. John gave him an, “Okay.” and continued thrusting at the same angle, feeling more arousal run through him at the loud moans emitting from Alexander's parted lips.

Alexander's was letting out loud mewls with a face that looked like a pornstar's, his eyes at the back of his head and his mouth wide open in ecstasy. His whole body continuously shaked as he bit on his lip harshly, drawing a bit of blood. John kissed it away, licking Alexander's lips clean making the male whimper. As Alexander started to draw close, John went as fast as he could, hands on Alexander's. “Oh god-J-Johnny-Aah-Im so close, fuuck,” Alexander all but shouted and he jerked up before coming all over his own cushions, staining them and their bodies. Soon, John came in the condom with a loud groan, eyes also rolling back.

They panted in their place and John rolled over next to him, not before pressing a kiss against Alexander's lips. Alexander laughed softly at the touch and sighed as he looked at the hour. 8 PM. He looked over to John with a bit of a frown. John, like his usual clients, was supposed to leave and let Alexander welcome another person. But when he didn't have anyone scheduled, and the man was so cutely glancing at him when he thought he didn't look, did it really hurt to let him stay over? As strange as it felt to admit, he felt so..weirdly attracted to this certain client. He didnt know what it was, but he needed more of this feeling. Its not like there was a rule that forbid him to, anyways.

John caught Alexander's staring and immediately sat up from the couch. “Ah! Sorry, im supposed to leave now arent i?” He quickly stood up from the couch, looking for his clothes and -

Alexander grinned and took John's arm, whispering in his ear.

“Awwe, leaving so soon, Johnny?”


	3. a spicy meeting with a hint of sugar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander then has a meeting with a certain client.

Weeks passed after that, and, Thomas couldnt help but notice how unusually cheerful John was acting. His movements were more swift and full of energy, his eyes wore a particular shine in them. He dressed nicer these days, though he was good in anything. He would snort at any single joke that Thomas made, even the stupid sarcastic ones. Something has to be up. 

And, today he woke up first and happily made them coffee and breakfast. 

Well, John always would be a nice and kind person, cheerful too. But today was just...different, in a way. 

It was strange, but Thomas accepted the change with open arms. John's smile could light up the world, in all honesty. Thomas absolutely adored watching John giddily walk around the room. This was completely unlike two nights ago, where John looked so... tired? sad? sick? He didnt really know what his face meant sometimes.

Thomas enjoyed looking at John's smile, he really did, but he decided to comment on it. “John?” John turned to face him, cocking his head in an adorable way. “Huh?”

“Youre unusually super cheerful. What's up?” He asked before adding, “Not that im complaining.”

“Oh, hah,” John scratched the back of his neck and laughed softly. “Its nothing, it's just that i met someone, and he's real cute,” He shrugged. “And ive been talking with him lately.” He paused on talking a bit and Thomas swore his heart stopped for a few seconds.

He knew this moment was coming, so he didn’t know why he felt a stab at his heart. 

He was only to blame, and he knew that. It was his fault that he didn't act fast enough. But it was complex, he also knew that. And he felt the possibility that acting on it could cost their relationship. 

He was glad John found someone, and that wasnt changing. Thomas wasnt just gonna be selfish and be mad at him. He was more mad at himself, if anything.

Thomas pushes the thoughts away and he smiled at him teasingly and rested his cheek against his tense knuckles. “You actually went outside? Damn... Do i know 'im?” His voice was shaky. Only a bit. 

John shook his head, “No, h-hes...from another college,” John shrugged, nibbling on his tongue. The man was so bad at lying, it was humorous, but he didnt wanna annoy him so he just nodded and hummed. “I better meet 'em soon.”

John coughed a bit and twirled a single curl around his index finger. “Yeah.” He poured some whip cream on Thomas and his' coffee and offered him a kind smile that made Thomas' heart melt. “Here ya go,” John handed the mug to Thomas, visibly stuttering when their fingers touched. Thomas held in a snicker and accepted his coffee, humming at the taste. “This tastes good.” He commented as John's eyes lit up and the freckled man laughed softly. ”Thank you.” Thomas cooed silently at the look on his face before John's phone pinged, and before Thomas could even spare a look, the brunette had already grabbed it immediately. He saw the man's cheeks go red at whatever he was reading and he bit his lip.

It was probably the guy he was talking about, wasn't it? He damn well was sure that he didnt make John blush that way and start immediately typing in godspeed. He was smitten, wasn't he? 

Thomas took a sharp breath and looked down at the counter. He sipped from his coffee and without a word, he walked to the couch and laid (are you proud of me yet erica??) down on it, burying his face in the cushions. John didnt seem to notice, eyes glued on the screen as he typed and sheepishly played with his curls.

Thomas would've enjoyed the sight, but he didnt even bother to look up, wishing he could just grab the freckled man by the collar and kiss him.

... But he couldn't.

Because apperantly, someone was already working on that.

~

'Aww, Tommy its only been two days, ur so cute. You already know my adress, just meet me there ❤️'

Yep. Thomas had done it. Honestly, Alexander was the only person who could shift his problems away. He was the only man who could calm down with a touch alone. He was a prostitute, yes, but he couldnt find it in him to care. Alexander was flirty, needy, and eager, he gave him a sort of thrill that Thomas didnt get from anyone else. And he loved it. He was addicted to the feeling Alexander gave him.

“Im goin' out,” Thomas waved at John as he walked towards the door. He heard John stand up from his seat, “Where?” He asked and Thomas stayed silent for a bit, pondering over what lie to say. Angelica's, He could say, but then again he already used that excuse last time. James wasn't an option, since he was sick and John knew that. What else could he say? He obviously couldn't just tell the truth.

He inhaled before speaking, eyes on the door. “Just meeting a friend.”

~

Knock Knock.

Alexander immediately opened the door, a big grin plastered on his face as he saw the familiar southerner infront of him. “Tommy,” Alexander licked his lips at him and let Thomas walk in, whom gave him one of those smirks that made Alexander almost trip over himself. This particular client was one of his favorites, after John. He was flirty and teasing, but kind, hot, but cute. Thomas' and Alexander's relationship was completely different from any relationship Alexander had with anyone. It wasn't romantic, but a part of Alexander's mind, which was hidden very deep, wished it was.

Thomas treated him like a princess. Thomas acted more like a sugar daddy, in all honesty. He constantly treated him, gave him more money than what he deserved, sometimes even went to buy him clothes. The virginian sometimes brang him to small dates and spoiled the hell out of him at the mall, it was strange yet it brang such joy to Alexander. He was extremely generous to Alexander. 

He didn’t know why. 

His eyes lit up at the southerner as said man sat down on the couch and opened his arms to him, giving him space to sit down on his lap. Alexander sat down on his lap just to be pushed against the cushions of the couch and he laughed softly.

“Youre so cute, Tommy. What, can't live without me?” Alexander raised an eyebrow with a teasing smile as he worked on Thomas' jacket, tossing it next to them. Thomas grinned and pulled him in a kiss, stealing a moan from Alexander as his hand went up his shirt. Alexander murmured something about Thomas being needy before he gasped when the southerner teased his crotch with his knee.

“Talkin' about needy, but you're already hard, and i just arrived.” Thomas teased, nipping into his neck repeatedly. Alexander didnt respond, just breathed shakily as Thomas ran his fingers around his thighs. “See?” Thomas started taking his shorts off and licked a stripe on his inner thigh. “Even my words got you drippin'. Cutie.” Thomas bit down on his soft skin, erupting a pleasured yelp from Alexander. “Only for you, daddy,” Alexander winked down at the male and groaned when Thomas sucked on the wound located in his thigh. Thomas took Alexander's shirt off while said man worked on unbuttoning Thomas'.

Alexander locked his legs around Thomas' neck as the southerner teased his inner thighs and stomach with bites and kisses. Alexander could feel himself get even more aroused and impatient whenever Thomas looked up at him, teeth buried in his skin and eyes clouded with a dark layer of lust. It brang shivers down Alexander's spine, it gave him a sort of adrenaline that no one else could offer; It was what Alexander adored about Thomas. Ever since they met some months ago, Alexander felt a strange connection between the two. And he could see that Thomas did too. 

He was snapped out of his thoughts when he felt something in his ass and it didnt take him long before he realized it was Thomas tongue. He let out a long moan and closed his eyes tightly, clenching his teeth. His breath hitched at the way Thomas thrusted his tongue in and out, drawing whines from the prostitute. “Mmm-Ah,” He panted and tilted his head, bottom lip between his teeth. Thomas chuckled and his hand played with Alexander's member as Thomas threaded his fingers in Thomas' forest dark curls. He rutted his hips against the touch and squirmed, face a cherry red. ”T-Tommy, please, i-” He gasped then whined when Thomas pulled away with a teasing grin. “What? Who do you think i am?”

“Youre a dick, daddy,” Alexander leaned down and grumbled at him.

“There you go, darlin'.” Thomas laughed dryly and went on top of the caribbean again, hovering over him. Alexander licked his lips and went to undo Thomas' jeans himself, changing position before the southerned grabbed his wrist. “Nah-Ah-Ah. Id let you, but id rather fuck you right now.” Thomas bit on his ear and Alexander nodded quickly. Thomas unzipped his pants and pulled them down, kissing Alexander's lips roughly as he teasingly grinded on him. “A-Aah - Please, Tommy..” The caribbean pouted at him and looked at him with need in his eyes, looking like he could sob if the southerner didnt give him what he wanted. “Youre so cute, babydoll,” Thomas chuckled and pulled his own boxers off, keen at the way Alexander smiled at the sight.

“Bend over for me, pumpkin.” Alexander did as told immediately, a part of him cooing over the petname while the other didn't even notice in the heat of the moment. Alexander bent over a bit too exxageratedly, eyes looking back at Thomas' in an impatient plea. “Fuck me, daddy.” He groaned at him and gasped when Thomas slapped his ass, not too hard but enough to make Alexander mewl. Thomas caressed his ass while another hand played with Alexander's hair, mouth stuck on his neck like a leech. “C'mon, p-pleeeas-Aah!” Alexander mewled when Thomas thrusted himself in him, a smile on the prostitute's face as his hips stuttered.

Thomas, of course, wasn't so shitty, and gave him time to get used to the feeling, whispering praises and petnames into his ear, talking about how good he was and nipping his ear. Alexander couldve melted right there, his voice as sweet as honey yet rasped, it was the best combination. He didn't have time to appreciate it much before Thomas noticed his involuntary pleas and began to thrust into him in a torturingly slow pace. “F-Fucker,” Alexander whined against the pillow he had shoved his face in, probably drooling over it. Thomas chuckled and started pounding into him in a fast pace, gradually going harder as he grabbed Alexander's ass in a tight grip. He didn't leave much marks, just small spots where he accidentally digged his nails in too far.

Alexander was always loud, and whiny, and sometimes even started sobbing if it felt too good. But unlike others, Thomas absolutely loved how loud he was. He loved his gasps and his loud mewls, his choked out moans and his cries in pleasure. Everyone whos had Alex probably agreed that he was the hottest person alive. It was a fact.

Meanwhile, Alexander had his face buried in the pillow as he rambled and ranted about how good it all felt. Thomas reached out and slid in four fingers of his in between Alexander's lips, gritting his teeth as said man sucked on his fingers eagerly. Alexander sucked on them eagerly, as if his life depended on it, whines and mewls vibrating through his fingers, making Thomas shudder.

Thomas pulled them out with a grin when he heard a particularly moan spill from the brunette's lips. “Hm? What's wrong, baby?” Alexander whimpered when Thomas purposefully avoided the spot he previously hit. “Please, f-fuck, there!” Alexander shouted, scratching the cushions harshly, almost like a cat. Thomas nibbled down on the tip of Alexander's red ear and started ramming roughly on his prostate. Alexander let out high - pitched cries as he felt himself get closer, Thomas moaning lowly at the way the man clenched around him. Alexander's breaths got even quicker and he wailed before coming without warning, body twitching as he felt tears well up in his eyes. Thomas thrusted a few times before he remembered he wasn't wearing a condom and pulled out, coming all over the prostitute's thighs with a loud curse.

Alexander moaned weakly at the sensation before his legs gave out and he collapsed on the couch. Thomas kissed his neck and back and stood up, grabbing tissues from under the couch. He cleaned them up briefly, too tired to do much before picking Alexander up and laying down on the couch, pulling the brunette on his chest. “Mm..” Alexander hummed against his chest with a smile, “Youre staying?”

“What can i say? I can't get enough of you, darlin'.”


	4. i am not in love! (or maybe i am)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alexander reflects on his feelings towards two certain people and learns some new things.

It had been months since Alexander met Thomas & John and honestly, Alexander never looked up to his phone ringing so much until now. The two men were beginning to be more part of his life, he barely saw them as clients anymore. They still payed him, despite Alexander wanting to refuse their offers, Because they weren't just sex like with others.

John usually brang him to a café, they would chat and maybe flirt a bit until they'd eventually either go to an hotel or Alexander's apartment and have sex if they were even feeling it. Meetings with John were a pure stress relief. He was the cutest sweetheart Alexander had ever met, he was so precious, it made Alexander swoon. He had to admit it. The man was a wonder.

Meetings with Thomas were much different yet Alexander loved them as much as he loved John's. Thomas would bring him to the mall and spoil the hell out of him, or sometimes it was just a quick trip to starbucks. It all depended on if they felt it or not. Sometimes Thomas actually drove to Alexander's apartment and bought or cooked him food, despite the caribbean's protests. Thomas was a sweetheart, but he was still a huge tease, he was still hot and he was still a kinky fuck. It all never changed. But he loved him like that.

John was his dose of sugar while Thomas spiced it up for him. He could never get enough of the two, he wished he could get more of them. He wished he could stay with both of them. But he knew he couldn't. 

Alexander perked up as he heard his phone bing, a smile pulling at the corners of his lips when he saw the contact name. He sat up on his squeaky bed, crossing his legs as he picked up his phone and typed in his password.

Johnny : if ur not busy,, wanna meet up at a restaurant or somethin?? ill pay. 

Alexander's eyes lit up as he opened the notification and went to reply, before he heard another ping. Who? 

Tommy : You busy? I can pick you up rn to get some lunch if you want. 

Alexander's eyes would light up too if it weren't for the fact that he had to pick one of the two.

Fuck.

He felt his stomach drop as he laid back down on his bed and hugged a pillow to his chest. If two clients were asking for him at the same hour, he usually got the one with most money and then told the other to wait.

But they weren't clients to him anymore.

They were offering the same amount of money, and its not like he'd choose by that alone with them. “Okay,” Alexander murmured to himself and sighed. 

After some minutes of thinking, No. Not okay. He couldn't pick one.

He tried to think of the pros and cons of both men, maybe there was something that he didnt like about them and thatd help him choose...

No. It did not. They didn't have any fucking cons... He loved being with both of them. Oh god, he never had grown so close to a client before. What the hell? Why couldn't he just choose? Was he really that smitten with them?

... Oh no. Alexander's eyes grew wide as he looked down at the pillow he was tightly gripping in shock. His cheeks were a loud red and as he felt them with his palms he let out a scream, hands covering his mouth. NonononoNoNoNo. He was not. He was not just fucking falling for a client. No he wasn't. No. No. No. He shook his head continuously, eyes tightly shut as he bit lip anxiously. He wasn't. It was never easy for him to fall in love with someone, hell, its only been three months, what the hell was going on? Was he going crazy? Did dick actually turn him dumb?

He was about to scream, “Fuck me!” Before he heard his phone ping again.

A request from an actual client. $50. James Reynolds. He remembers that guy. 

He felt like declining, he knew he detested that one time with him, but then again this was his job. And he needed to get his mind off things, Thomas and John were surely not gonna help. So, with a deep breath, he accepted the request and texted an apology to the two southerners. Yeah. This was a good idea.

~

This was not a good idea. He didn't like the way he was harshly pinned against his bed, he didn't like the way his neck was bleeding from all the bites, he didnt like the way the man talked to him and he especially didnt like how Thomas and John's hickeys were covered with other's. This was normal. He used to be so accostumed to this, so why the hell did he feel so shitty now?

He gasped when he felt a nail dig into his thigh, bottom lip under his teeth. “Youre nothing but a slut, aren't you?” He would chuckle, causing Alexander's face to go red in shame. Ever since Thomas and John, he had completely forgotten about clients like this, especially Reynolds. He forgot about so many things... He forgot about the taunting, he forgot about how harsh and careless he was with Alexander, he forgot about his own insecurities, he forgot about how he was supposed to act around clients like this, and he had definetily forgot about -

Smack! 

“I said, aren't you?” Alexander's eyes grew wide and it didn't take him long to realize the way his cheek stung. Oh. The fucker slapped him. “Yes, sir,” He immediately answered with a fake smirk. He wanted to stand up and leave, fuck. But everytime he glanced at the door, he remembered why he was here. He needed the money, he couldn't just leave. He needed the money. So, he just hummed and spread his legs like a whore. 

Wasn't that what he was at this damn point?

~

John was making himself some coffee tiredly, despite the clock showing that it was 6 PM. Yeah, he did that often. Coffee tended to calm him and it tasted good any way. 

Today had been an uneventful day. He woke up, made breakfast, got to work, invited Alexander for lunch (he rejected), instead bought lunch with Thomas, worked, and home. It was a boring day except getting to eat with Thomas, which he loved. 

He leaned down and rested his chin on the counter before he perked up when his phone suddenly went off. He answered it almost immediately with a smile as he saw the contact name.

”Hi, Lexi,” He greeted and sipped from his coffee mug. “What's up?”

“Johnny, can you come over, please?” John could practically see the pout on Alexander's face and chuckled. “Now?”

“Yeah.” His voice seemed rare. 

He ignored it. “Sure, how 'bout that one caf-”

“Id rather you just come here,” John cocked his head in confusion but nodded, “Mhm. You okay?” He asked. “Of course i am, Johnny.”

“See you, then, okay?”

“See ya! Muah!” John blushed and hung up, laying his phone down on the counter. “Cutie,” He whispered to himself and went off to dress quickly. 

~

As soon as he saw Alexander's apartment door, he knocked on it and waited, an amused expression on his face as he saw the door fly open. “You shouldn't open it that quickly, lex -” He chuckled before shutting up as he was pulled in a kiss. He sighed contently as he wrapped his arms around the brunette's waist. John laughed softly when Alexander pulled on his collar to lead him inside and close the door shut with his foot. The freckled man caressed the caribbean's cheek gently as said man purred and leaned against the warm touch. “Johnny..” He murmured, “I missed you.”

“We saw eachother just two days ago, hun,” John raised an eyebrow, but then his eyebrows furrowed at the pinkish red mark on Alexander's left cheek. “Al-Alexander, what happened?!” He asked worriedly.

Alexander was gonna go, “Huh?” confusedly before he flinched when John touched his cheek. Oh. “Ah, client,” He casually answered. “A client shouldn't do that, Alex, that's..” John trailed off, not even noticing, just examining the mark. It didn't look too bad, but god did it hurt John to know that someone hurt Alex and he couldn't be there. “If you want, i can get some ic-”

“It doesnt hurt anymore, Its fine,” Alexander shook it off and John looked at him in doubt but slowly nodded. “If you say so.” Alexander gave him a childish pout at the way he sounded and pulled him closer. “I know so. C'mon, just shut it and kiss me.” He murmured against his lips and giggled as he was picked up and brang into a kiss. John walked to Alexander's room, which was a mess and laid him carefully on the bed, frowning at the way the brunette flinched.

“Are you okay? D-Did i hurt you?” Alexander shook his head. “N-No, I'm fine, im just a bit sore.” That didn't help John's worry, just increased it if anything. He kissed his lips and furrowed his eyebrows, “Take care, okay?”

And this is why Alexander loved this man so much. Now he remembered why. John was so caring, so kind, so... Fuck. He couldn't help the dark red flooding his cheeks as he swallowed and felt his heart skip a beat. “Okay.” Was all that left his lips before wrapped his legs around John, confusion written in his face when they were rejected. “I-I wanna make you feel good.. If you let me.”

“John, im a -” 

“When youre with me, you're not,” John pecked his jaw and Alexander felt himself melt under him. “Could you...” He trailed off. “Take your clothes off?” John asked, biting his lip as Alexander nodded and did so. Its not like he wore much anyway. It was just a lazy shirt he had totally not stole Thomas from when he left it in his apartment, compared with a pair of boxers that seemed too short to even seem like boxers. He untied his hair from the bun it was in and basically posed for John, chewing on his finger to seem more cute for him.

“Are you comfortable?”

“Ye-”

“Dont arch your back so much, you'll get hurt, Lex.”

Alexander nodded and laid down on his back a bit more calmly. “Now are you comfortable?” John asked, pecking Alexander's lips.

“Uh-Huh.” John smiled and began to trail kisses over the marks on Alexander's neck and back first. They almost looked like bruises, God. John spent time on each one, murmuring sweet words against his skin and smoothly drew soothing circles on his chest. Alexander let his eyes close as he relaxed to his touch with a sigh. He was previously excited, and needy, but now it all shifted to just purely in love and relaxed. 

His lips were already on his waist at this point, while his hand gently massaged Alexander's thighs, stealing soft pants and mewls from the brunette.

In moments like these, Alexander wanted to oh so badly tell John that he loved him. To just pull him in a kiss and spill everything. He wanted John to caress his cheek and tell him that he loved him too and all that cheesy shit. But he knew he couldn't do that. Everytime his lips parted, they closed back again, afraid of ruining it everything with three sole words. It hurt him, somehow.

But whatever sadness Alexander suddenly felt was abruptly interrupted with a gasp in surprise when he felt a John's tounge on his member. “J-Johnny,” He whined and moaned as he felt a mouth on the head of it. “Mmm,” He hummed and covered his red face at the sight of John going down on him. Fuck, the man was so hot. How? He didn't get it. He couldn't get it.

His heart raced when John fit all of it easily in his mouth, swallowing around him making the younger of the two mewl. Alexander chewed on his lip and moaned when John began to pull away, just to take it all in again with a grunt at the bittersweet taste.

“J-Johnny, fuck, p-please, mor-Ah!” He arched his back while John started to repeat his previous actions, but in a faster pace. “F-Fuuck, Ah - Youre g-going to make me c-cum,” He gasped and squirmed a bit, a hand now on John's curls but not pulling or moving anything, just holding onto them. “John, fuckfuckfuckfuck,” He rambled, tears begging to leave his eyes as John eagerly sped up his movements. Alexander's hips stuttered and it didn't take him long at all to cum in John's mouth with a loud wail. John coughed a bit but happily swallowed what he could and licked his lips as he looked up back at Alexander.

“... Did i do good?”

Alexander snorted, thighs still twitching as he pulled John up and kissed his now - salty lips. “You worked wonders, Johnny. You always do.” He said in an odd tone before the southerner slid right next to him on the bed. “If you say so,” John smiled and pecked Alexander's arm, looking right at the man's eyes. 'I love you,' He wanted to say. But he couldn't.

So he just went with, “Goodnight, Lexi.” and sewed his lips shut, letting his mind wander off.


	5. wait, who?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wait. you? you too? you two?

Thomas and Alexander were just on a casual drive around New York.

Both men conversed, kissed, teased, argued, argued specifically at people who apparently didn’t know how to drive, and drank coffee. This tended to be a normal thing for them, part of their routine, but they never got tired of it. After all, they could never get tired of each other’s presence. 

They felt like a couple, they looked like one and they acted so much like one, it was ridiculous. Anyone who saw them could only assume they were dating. People have even asked, 'how long?'. Though, both men enjoyed eachother's flustered face in those moments.

The atmosphere was chill ; joyful. 

Thomas contently smiled and nodded as Alexander rambled and ranted. 

Alexander was wearing a yellow sweater which was John's, tied up in the front to a crop - top and a pair of soft, red velvet pants which Thomas had bought him just a few days ago. He wore his hair in a messy bun and he was happily drinking some coffee that Thomas had surprised him with. He usually didn't drink it sweet, and Thomas knew that, but he actually liked what he was drinking. Maybe it was because he was with Thomas, he wasn't so sure.

In between another one of their conversations, Alexander cut in and spoke up on another thing he's always wondered. 

“Tommy, what's your place like?” He asked as he chewed on his thumb. He was never let in the damn place, for some reason, even if he was already running out of clean shirts from Thomas. Obviously, that wasn't the only reason or anything.

The southerner shrugged, “Its just a normal apartment, i guess?”

“But why don't you ever let me stay in?” Alexander asked in a whiny voice and rested his cheek on his palm. Thomas glanced at him and chuckled at the caribbean's expression. He looked back at the road, humming, “I have a best friend that lives with me, i dont wanna bother him.”

“Oh? Tell me about him.” The brunette tilted his seat back so he was laying a bit more down and looked at Thomas. Unfortunately, Thomas didn't talk much about himself, even though Alexander wanted to know more about him. The man seemed so interesting. “Well, his name is John, and hes a really good friend,” Thomas looked at the road with a smile. “He has a really kind soul. He's super cute, and has countless freckles, i swear. He's a great guy.” Alexander raised an eyebrow with a chuckle, but didn't comment on anything, instead just kept listening intently. It all brang him confusion, though. The John Thomas described was so familiar to his John, it was strange. He wasn't so sure if it was because he spent so much time with John, but his description really did sound like him. From the freckles, to the curly hair, to the kindness, to the -

Everything.

He shook it off. No. He just needed to get John out of his head. He sighed and continued listening to Thomas, picking up his coffee and sipping from it.

“We've been friends since high - school, though we didn't really get along first. I was a dick, anyway.”

“Correction; Youre still a dick,” Alexander cut in with a playful grin as Thomas flipped him off. “Shut up,” He said before continuing to gush over the man. Alexander just watched in amusement, because, did Thomas notice how in love he sounded?

Wait.

Thomas? In love?

Alexander paused as his eyes widened slightly. He actually did sound like he liked him. Alot. From the way he blabbered about how adorable he was to the way he ranted about how he worried all the time, he made it crystal clear he felt atleast something for the man.

...He was being selfish about this! Alexander felt like slapping himself. He absolutely despised the way the thought of Thomas loving someone made his stomach drop. This shouldn't even make him this upset! He couldn't just control his feelings! So what, if Thomas liked someone else? He should've been expecting this anyway. It wasn't as if Alexander thought they'd end up together or anything. Hes not yours. Let him be, A part of his mind scolded.

“Darlin'? You there?”

Alexander snapped out of his trance of thought. “Y-Yeah! Im fine, i just spaced out,” Thomas nodded and shut up as he became aware of for how long he was ranting. “Sorry, i talked alot, didn't i?”

“Dont worry, i love your voice.” Alexander winked and giggled at the blush that came to Thomas' cheeks. Thomas looked away bashfully and continued driving, lips forming a small pout. Alexander smiled at him and caressed Thomas' arm slowly. He looked into those dark brown eyes of his with what he didnt know was a frown as his fists clenched slightly. But he glared the feeling away and slapped on a smile.

“By the way..” He knew it was off - topic, but the question was lingering in his mind and if he didn't ask, it wasn't going to leave anytime soon. “What's your roomates last name?” He needed to figure this out once and for all.

“Laurens.”

Alexander didn't think the answer was gonna get to him this much, but now he was doubled over and choking on his precious coffee. He was almost spitting it out but decided against it considering the price of the car and shrieked. “Alex? Are you o-”

“I-I-Im fine!” Alexander all but shouted with a nervous laugh and drank some water to wash it all down. “Better than ever.” He mumbled and sighed as he fixed his hair which fell from its bun in his little coughing fit. 

“Do you know him or something?”

“Of course not! Psssh, anyway, where are we going?”

Thomas gave him a suspiscious look but shrugged it off. “Where do you wanna go?” He simply asked.

“Hmm..my apartment would be nice?”

“Want me to drop you off there?”

“What, you're not stayin'?”

“Dont you have work?” Alexander shook his head in response. Thomas smirked.

“I'll gladly stay, sugar.”

~

The next day, at about 4 PM, after being with a client, Alexander immediately called John over for two reasons.

One, to confirm his theory about him living with Thomas, and two, honestly, he just missed him. John was amazing, after all. He quickly switched to wearing one of Thomas' shirts, not wanting John to find out he actually stole a sweater of his. Knowing the freckled man, he'd let him keep it, but either way it was kind of embarrassing.

He immediately ran to the door when it was knocked and he kissed the figure in front of him, bouncing happily. “Johnnyy,” He drawled and pulled him in. “Alex, you gotta stop doin' that,” John laughed and pecked the brunette's forehead.

“What?”

“Opening your door to anyone.”

“... But youre not anyone,” Alexander furrowed his eyebrows.

John rolled his eyes and walked in the apartment, putting some bags on the floor next to the couch before sitting down. Alexander sat down next to him, parting his lips to ask what the bags were, but John had already read his mind. “Those are some cupcakes, i got them from the bakery next to my apartment.” Alexander's eyes lit up as he immediately scrambled to open the bag and grabbed one from the plastic box. “Thank you.” They had pink n green frosting with some sprinkles, and god was Alexander obsessed with sweets, he was more than delighted.

Before actually digging in, He licked up the frosting slowly, giggling at the way John's cheeks went red. “Cutie,” He silently cooed and started eating, moaning at the taste. “Velvet? Aww, how'd you know?”

“Lucky guess? I love it, anyway,”

“Me too.” And so, they contently ate the sweet treats in a comfortable silence.

That was, until, the younger of the two got some frosting on his index finger and painted the tip of John's nose with it, laughing. “Awwe!” He cooed as John stuck his tounge out at him and got it off, sticking it at Alexander's cheek. They both had a little mini fight until it ended up in Alex's mouth as he licked it from John's thumb.

John stiffened up and covered his red cheeks with one hand and shook his head. “You m-make everything sexual,” Alexander shrugged, “I like seeing you like this.” He simply explained and sat up comfortably, laying his head on a pillow from the couch. Then, he looked over to John and looked at him with big, curious eyes. “Johnny?” 

“Hm?”

“Random question... Do you have any roomates?” Alexander asked, taking a bite from his fourth cupcake. “Yeah, why?” John replied, wiping the little bits of frosting still on his nose. “Just curious.” Alexander trailed off, carefully thinking about what to say, “How are they?”

“Well, for starters, his name is Thomas. He's a really cool guy,” He started, and Alexander had to hold in before choking on his cupcake. He fucking knew it, oh my god, he didn't believe it. Thomas and John were fucking roomates?! What the hell kind of coincidence was this? “But like...really cool, i look up to him. He's really handsome and nice, haha, but he's a tease.” Yep. Just like his Thomas. “I know, right?” Alexander commented without thinking.

He blurted stuff out when he was anxious. Damnit. What made him feel more anxious was that.. John wore the same expression Thomas had when he was talking about him. A spark in his eyes, a blush on his cheeks, a love - struck smile om his face...

“What?” John raised an eyebrow. Both men were helpless for eachother, weren't they?

“Nothing.”

Was he in the way, then?


	6. will it be me, or you?

Another day, another date with Alexander consisting of the man getting spoiled rotten.

What could he say? Thomas loved watching Alexander's eyes lit up when matched with that gorgeous smile of his. Especially when he saw a cute sweater or when Thomas surprised him with coffee. His cheeks would turn a rosy pink and his usually dark eyes would suddenly turn a milky chocolate color. He would kiss Thomas' cheek and thank him as he got it for him and Thomas would chuckle and internally melt. It was now almost their everyday life, yet it brang such joy to him, he couldn't put into words.

They were eating lunch at the mall's food court, just chatting and occasionally making eachother blush. Thomas would pretend to listen to his rambling, though he was lost in those eyes of his. He unshamefully would look him up at down, taking in every detail of his. He would look at that loose t - shirt which looked a tad too familiar, at those ripped jeans he wore that left nothing for the imagination, at that faint, black line under Alexander's eye that was probably made by some eyeshadow and last but not least, the teasing shine on his lips. Since when did chapstick make someone hotter?

“Tommyyy?” Alexander waved his hand infront of Thomas' face with a confused expression before he smiled as he captured his attention. “Hi, welcome back.” He said and Thomas rolled his eyes, not even noticing the smile coming to his lips. “As i was saying,” Alexander started before his phone started ringing and he groaned before he saw the contact name. All he saw was 'Jo' before Alexander scrambled to get it. He answered with a smirk naturally tugging at his lips. “Heya,” Thomas observed the way the man's cheeks went red and how he giggled, biting his lip. He twirled a strand of his hair around his finger, “Maybe if you bring me one of those cupcakes again, ill let you.” He whispered.

Alexander hummed at whatever the other line said and shook his head. “It's fine, Johnny.” He chuckled before he furrowed his eyebrows, looking like he just let something slip as he glanfed at Thomas for a moment alone. But his worried expression rapidly changed to a love - struck one in matter of seconds. “Well, ill see ya tomorrow, Kay?” Then he hung up the phone and looked up at Thomas who wore an amused expression. “What?”

Thomas smirked and raised an eyebrow, “I didn't know you had a boyfriend between all of this,”

Alexander went in a coughing fit and could only inaudibly shake his head, hand grabbing his cup of coffee and sipping from it. Thomas snorted at the way the sentence alone made Alex react and waited until Alexander was done. Said man slowly calmed down as he sighed and coughed a bit, glaring at Thomas, though it held no venom and both men knew it.

“So he is?”

“W-What - No! He's just a client!”

“Oh, so its just a crush then? Poor you.” Thomas teased, though he was only putting up the calm facade. Inside, he didn't know what to feel.

Alexander, on the other side, wished to do anything but tell his crush he had a crush. He felt as if it would ruin whatever zero chance he had. Even if Thomas loved someone else, he felt a spark between them. And it could be just him, but he wasn't giving it up just yet. Its not that he wasn't, anyway, its just that he *couldn't.* He noticed how Thomas looked at him from time to time and he didnt really think Thomas would spoil someone he didnt feel anything for.

“N-No! I dont like like him, he's just,,,,hes my friend!” He cringed at his own choice of words and chewed on the inside of his cheek. “Yeah, that's bullshit, darlin'. I dont think ive ever seen you go so red and giddy when youre talking with just a client.” Thomas pointed to him, “Lil lexi has a crush? I never couldve guessed.”

“L-Leave me alone, you dick,” Alexander pouted at him and whined. “Fine, fine. Ill leave you alone if you tell me about him.” Alexander groaned but nodded. “Well.. He's really kind, and sweet. And he worries about me alot, its adorable,” He smiled to himself a bit. “He has alot of freckles, and..” Wait, no. He couldn't let Thomas know he's with John. Thomas wasn't dumb. He probably would guess who it was if he kept talking. “Thats it.”

“Oh, c'mon, name?” Thomas grinned but Alexander shook his head. “Nuh - Uh.” He responded and looked away dramatically. “Not spilling.” Thomas subconsciously held Alexander's hand, chuckling at the way the younger of the two blushed. “Wow, that's fuckin' rude.” Alexander laughed and rolled his eyes before he looked back at the time on his phone. “C'mon, it's 5. The mall's closing soon,”

“That or you're just avoiding the conversation,”

“Fuck you!” Alexander flipped him off and stood up, shoving Thomas gently. Thomas flicked Alexander's cheek but squeezed his hand. “How bout my apartment?”

“But, what about your roomate?”

“Not home, he's working late today, you can come over for a bit.” Alexander nodded, “If you say so,” He said and they left the mall.

~

“Oh, your place is actually really nice,” Alexander looked around the apartment in awe. It was pretty big compared to others hes been in, and the decoration was simple. The walls were a grey - ish purple and blue while some were a creamy white and there was a walnut brown couch matching the colors. The kitchen was only a bit messy and there was a pair of half - empty coffee mugs on the counter. On the left, there was a brown, organized shelf, with some books and art materials. On the middle shelf, though, there laid some cute succulent plants that he just knew were John's. There was a small, light yellow sticky note saying, 'Can u water it today? :)' And Alex nodded as if it was even for him. He got up on his tip - toes and watered them with the spraying bottle next to them and drew a heart next to his message. Actually, no. Multiple hearts. Well, at first it was just something he always did, then at the last few hearts he realized he was doing Thomas a favor.

Thomas watched the man with confusion drawn all over his face. Alexander was all loving and stuff like that, but he didnt quite understand. During the time of being in the apartment, whenever he found something of Thomas or John, he would look at it like he was suddenly in love with it. Furstrating thing was, he couldn't figure out exactly why.

And... Thomas was starting to have a feeling that he may know his roommate, for especifically John. That'd be ridiculous!, he would tell himself, but at the same time, it actually made a bit of sense? He couldn't jump to conclusions, he knew that, but from the way Alexander describes the person he undoubtedly likes to the way John described the person he undoubtedly liked, it all rang a bell and he knew this all couldn't just be a coincidence.

Well, Thomas couldn't really blame Alexander if he actually did like John. John was amazing. Who wouldn't love him?

Nope. He wasn't stressing over this. He had enough on his plate as it is, anyway. 

He sighed and walked up behind Alexander, wrapping his arms around his slim waist as the brunette almost dropped the pen on his hand. “Alex?”

“Hm?”

Thomas wanted to open his mouth and talk, tell him what he was thinking, ask him if his theories are true, but.. No words regarding the matter dared to leave his lips. So, instead, he kissed the back of his neck as he traced circles on his back. Alexander hummed and relaxed before another one of his hands went down and grabbed Alexander's ass. He jumped and Thomas smirked, suckling all over his neck. “Mmm.. T-Tommy,” Alexander hummed and leaned back into the touch, purring. “What is it, babydoll?” Thomas drawled against his neck and cherished Alexander's small whines as he came in contact with his thighs. Alexander put his hands against the wall, pushing back against the southerner. Thomas got his hand on his hair and tugged on it, stealing a pleasured gasp from Alexander.

Thomas lifted Alexander's shirt up and played with his chest as he began grinding his already half - erection against the brunette's ass, his hand firmly on his hip. “M-Mhmm, w-we should atleast go to your be - Ah -!” Alexander mewled when his hair was tugged on again, hands gripping the shelf for support. “Itll be fine.” Thomas shrugged it off while the other whined, yelping when Thomas continued humping him. Alexander's breaths got quicker and less collected as he attempted to move along with him but failed to keep up. He let his eyes screw shut as he covered his mouth to seal his moans. But, as he feared, despite the blissful head - space he was currently in, his eyes widened as he heard the click of the door and a certain familiar voice.

Thomas noticed and quickly pulled away, but completely unlike him, Alexander was overwhelmed by panic. Thank the heavens that John was turned around, closing the door, for it gave him the time to immediately run down the hall and to the first room he found. God, it would've been so awkward if he just saw them, jesus, he didnt know how the hell he was gonna confront them both if the day even comes!

He closed the door and sighed, leaning against it as he heard whatever was happening outside the room. Not much. They were just greeting eachother with those beautiful voices of theirs and talking about god knows what, he couldn't hear the rest.. No, no time for that! He looked over and saw that there was a window he could easily climb out from, but before he could even take a step towards it, something caught his eye. Well, some things.

So this was John's art room. John had told him he liked drawing at one point, but he didn't know he had a specific room for it. Well, he did have money. He could tell this room was John's from how each box of materials had a little turtle sticker over it. Okay, that was adorable of him. Gosh. He smiled to himself and looked over to the left, where the sketchbooks were. Most of them were big, and some looked a bit expensive, and they were all in a fine line from smallest to biggest. Unlike the whole house, this room was painted a grey - ish, light green, and the complimentary color to this was modern black. It was all pleasing to look at.

Then he noticed a certain paper which was already falling from one of the sketchbooks. It was folded, as if he refused to let it fall, and, well, some snooping around wasn't gonna do any harm, would it?

He grabbed said sketchbook and opened it, looking through some of the drawings in awe. Most of them were either turtles, landscapes or Thomas. It wasn't surprising at all, actually. He knew he'd find atleast one drawing of Thomas. He wasn't complaining, he loved looking at Thomas anyway.

What he loved about John's art style was that he tried to draw every single detail of him. From the usual curl that never fits in, to that beauty mark on his jaw, to that mark on his lips from always being bit on. It's like he payed attention to everything, it was amusing to say the least.

As he found the folded paper, he unfolded it gently, definetily not wanting to be the one to break it either. He took his time registering what it was, his cheeks resting on his palms. It was a man with hair tied up in a messily done bun, dressed in a tied up sweater along with a jacket. He wore a pair of pants that looked more like pajamas, and he wore a smirk on his face. It looked like it wasnt supposed to be a colored drawing, but it was still colored faintly with colored pencil.

Then he realized.

Wait.

That... Was him.

No. That couldn't have been him. Why would John waste his time on drawing him? The drawing was too accurate, though. Same shade of brown eyes, same shade of skin, same beauty mark on the right, same jacket that he remembers wearing with John the other day.. It couldn't have been a random stranger.

Alexander's eyes lit up and he felt his cheeks undeniably go warm. He couldn't help the smile that the thought brang him as he finally ripped the paper from the sketchbook. He hugged the paper to his chest before folding it back again, but this time untidedly, putting it in his backpocket and putting the sketchbook back in its place. He turned around to look at the markers but before he could explore the room further, he heard John's voice coming closer and he shot up with a squeak and ran off to the window next to him. He fiddled with the lock before he was able to open it, grunting at the heaviness. He didn't even hear his hair - pin fall on the window - still before he climbed out.

Easier said than done, but done.


	7. i love you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alexander confesses.

Alexander was sick of it. Tired. Done with it!

He couldn't take this anymore. Everyday, every damn hour he spent with Thomas and John, somehow just hurt him more.

He couldn't do this anymore. It hurt. It fucking hurt that he couldn't say, “I love you.” It hurt that he couldn't stay and cuddle with them for nights, it hurt that he couldn't have them kiss him at the same time. It was frustrating. He was so tired of it all already. Every morning, he woke up alone, ready to have sex with someone that wasn't Thomas or John. Almost every afternoon, he went on a date with John knowing he couldn't call him his. And almost every night, after he ended up with Thomas leaving his apartment again, he had to suck it up and bite an, ‘I love you.’ And fuck was it hard to. If he didn't tell them any sooner, he was going to go insane.

Yeah, he needed to tell them, Hes thought this so many times, so many damn times he's lost count, but everytime he called one of them over and opened his mouth... 

It wouldn't come out. It never did. And he hated it, so, so much. It hurt his heart as if a dagger was stabbed into it. His lips would run dry and his brown chocolate eyes would well up with tears. Theres nothing he could do about his feelings, was there? God, how was this easy for others?

But here he was, calling John over to his apartment for yet another attempt at confessing his feelings, like he did so many times. But he knew this was gonna end in another fail. But... It didnt hurt to try, he shrugged. 

The brunette's head perked up as he heard a soft knock on the door and a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. He slowly stood up, fixing his sweater which was basically all he wore before twisting the door knob and greeting John with a grin. “Johnny!” He grabbed the southerner's hand and basically dragged him inside, closing the door shut with his foot.

John laughed softly, “Hi. Dont -”

“Open the door to strangers, blah blah blah,” Alexander mocked in an exaggerated southern accent, making John ruffled his messy hair. His hand seemed warm. “You shouldn't, Alex,”

“Leave me alooone, i knew it was you by the way you knocked.” He stuck his tongue out before turning around and locking the door. John went behind him and kissed the back of his neck affectionately, “How do i knock?”

“Like an angel.” Alexander winked and walked over to the fridge, getting out a tube of chocolate chip ice cream. “Its 9 AM.” John pointed out with a raised eyebrow. “You know how they say, the earlier the better.” Alexander simply shrugged as John cocked his head to the side and shook his head. “No one says that, Lexi,” 

“I do.” The caribbean simply glared playfully before shoving a spoonful in his mouth with a delightful hum. John rolled his eyes but grabbed some ice cream and...

Bit down on it.

Alexander seemed shocked, to admit the least. 

“John, what the fuck?” Alexander said in a tone that couldn't be described. He sounded like he could either burst out in tears or laughter. Maybe he'd do both. First because he seemed anxious and second because this damn male chews ice cream. 

“What?” John looked down at the man next to him, who's eyes showed disbelief and confusion. “What did i do?"

“Why are you fucking chewing on ice cream?”

“Oh.” John snorted and got another spoonful of it, “My teeth aren't really that sensitive.”

Alexander stared at him with squinted eyes before he sighed and continued eating. “You southerners are weird.” He mumbled as John chuckled and stood up. John went over behind Alexander and sat down as Alexander hummed in confusion.

“What is it?” 

“Can i braid your hair for a bit?” 

The question made Alexander turn his head, face pink. 

“Yeah? But it’s messy.” 

He shook it off, “Its fine.” And he started to work.

Alexander nearly melted as soon as the freckled man's fingers went to his hair. Those fingers did damn wonders. He purred as John ran his fingers through his brunette hair, dissolving the knots on it quite easily, and he'd question why it was so easy for him, but then he remembered John had curly hair.

He leaned into it and let his eyes close as he cherished the soothing feeling of John's warm touch. In moments like these, Alexander just wanted to stay here and melt, because fuck, he felt so in love right now. He completely adored both Thomas and John, but right now, he felt like just grabbing John's cheeks, kiss him, and tell him those three words that always seemed to be right at his lips.

His breath caught up on his throat and he just took a deep, long and shaky breath before deciding to speak. “...John?” His voice came out shy, quiet and anxious.

“Hm?”

Alexander stayed silent for a moment before the words decided to spill out all of a sudden, and before he could stop them from doing so, they were already out.

“I love you.”

He said in a breathless tone, and as he realized the words that he just let slip, his eyes widened. Fuck. Oh fuckfuckfuck. Shit. He did it. He finally ruined his relationship wih John. Like he did with everyone else, damnit. Damnit. The silence he got in return was dreadful and he despised it. The omly sound in the room was the sound of Alexander quietly panting as he awaited John's response and the soft, faint sound of raindrops hitting against his window. He knew it. He knew John didnt like him. He knew John saw him as just a filthy prostitute who also came to be his friend. Why would John love someone like him? it was ridiculous. He didnt even know why he -

His trance of thought was interrupted all of a sudden as he was turned around and a pair of soft, warm lips were against his. He looked at John in pure shock, his hand on the man's shirt, basically clinging into it as he gasped. John took his hand away from his shirt and grabbed it, squeezing it tightly. The kiss was nothing but loving. No biting, no tongues, no moans, none of that. Just two lips pressed against eachother in a tender kiss. This was the longest kiss Alexander had even experienced.

The caribbean felt tears well up in his eyes before they fell and trailed down his cheek, soft sobs leaving him against his lips.

As John pulled away slowly for air, he kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear, “I love you too, Lex.” He brushed his brown locks behind his ear and wiped his tears away, but Alexander seemed to not be able to stop.

“Alex?”

“N-No,” The younger of the two choked out in between sobs, covering his red face before John grabbed his hand and kissed his knuckles in an attempt to calm him down. “Y-You dont get it,” He shook his head and coughed into his palm, eyes screwing shut for a moment before he looked up at John with glassy eyes. “Honey, what don't i get?” He asked in a calm, soothing tone. Alexander sniffed and wiped a sole tear from his eye, shoulders shaking.

“I-I love someone else too,” He hiccuped and refused to make eye contact with John, looking down at the couch they sat on. John gave him a look. Not a judging look, not a pitiful look, and everything but an angry look. Just... A confused one, littered with curiousity. “... What? Who is it?” He asked, eyebrows not quite furrowed but a bit so. Alexander chewed on his lower lip, that was already bleeding on the inside of his mouth, the tip of his tongue tasting a metallic taste. He licked his lips in an attempt for them to not look so chapped and mumbled a name under his breath.

“What was that, cupcake?” He caressed Alexander's brown locks in a peaceful manner. Alexander felt more tears well up in his eyes as he didnt even try to hold them in, letting them fall down. He stayed silent for a moment.

“Y-You know your roomate, Thomas?”

“... Yeah?”

“I love h-him.”


	8. i love you too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sentiments are shared.

“I love h-him.”

John's eyes went wide as soon as he heard the those three words leave Alexander's lips.

The first thought that came to his mind was,

“No way.”

The second thought came to his mind then, was,

“Holy shit.”

Alexander seemed to nod at that, tears still somehow dripping down, no matter how many times John had kissed and wiped them away. 

“A-and...” He spoke, chocolate orbs watching John’s body. “I-I love you, but you’re a dumbass, you and Thomas obviously love each other too damn much, I don’t know how—" He got cut with a cough. “—T-The fuck you’re n-not together—” He swiped his hair which sticked to the water on his forehead.

John stood with an expression that only spoke shock. His eyebrows were furrowed, but not in an angry or frustrated way. He was just currently in a state of disbelief. 

How could Thomas love him? It either had to be a lie, or the man was this good at hiding it at times.

John suddenly felt a strange burn in his chest. From one part, he was incredibly happy, because, fuck. Thomas loved him back. After so many years of pining over him and wasting tears over him, the fucker loved him back and his oblivious ass didn't realize. Jesus, The freckled man sighed and ran his fingers through his curly hair, messing up his ponytail easily. But he didn’t know how the hell Alexander knew Thomas, so he could be just assuming. He didn’t know who spoke right or wrong. 

From another part, he felt horrible. For how long had Alexander felt like this? He had noticed the way the caribbean was a bit distant once in a while. He hated knowing that Alexander had cried over this for god knows how long and he never noticed. 

He was still getting this new information through his head, his brain wasn't acting fast enough, before Alexander interrupted his train of thought.

“So, T-Thomas and you should just get together and forget about me.” John felt his heart drop all the way down to his stomach as he attempted to talk but was talked over.

“Dont.” Alexander said in a tone that he didn't recognize at all. It sounded heartbroken, sharp, stern. He was in the verge of tears again, he could tell. And it hurt. “I-I can’t let my stupid fucking feelings get in the way of you two. He doesnt love me. He loves you,” He pointed to John, “So, f-forget about me. Stay with him.”

Hell no.

“Hell, no!” John shouted and regretted it as he saw Alexander flinch. “Sorry.” John mumbled and rested his hand on Alexander's shoulders for a mere second, pecking his wet cheek. “Alexander, if i ever left you alone, i would never forgive myself.” John said in a more calm manner, eyes looking directly at Alexander's sternly. “I love you. So much. And we don’t know what...Thomas feels.” He assured him as he carefully played with Alexander's brown locks. “Is he a client of yours?”

“.. Uhuh.” Was all that left Alexander's lips and John let out a knowing, “Ahah!" At it.

The smaller of the two raised an eyebrow in confusion as John chuckled a bit. “Alex, do you know how smitten and messy that man looks when he comes home?” Alexander hesitatingly shook his head.

“Thomas usually comes home with a dorky - ass grin on his face! I swear to god, i see hearts in his eyes," John laughed at Alexander's surprised eyes. “And, im sure you dropped a hair - pin here the other day, right?”

“... Maybe.”

“Thomas wears it confidently, now I know why it were familiar.” Alexander snorted at that with a small giggle. Then John remembered half of the reason he fell in love with Alex. His snort and laugh was everything. It was absolutely adorable to him. John couldn't honestly resist. He picked Alexander up and laid him on his lap, kissing his lips gently.

“Is this okay?” He asked, rubbing Alexander's back gently. Alexander nodded and basically melted in the kiss as he let his eyes close. He cherished the taste of John's lips and just took him in.

“Another thing,” John started again, causing Alexander to roll his eyes with a smile. “Is that, Thomas talks about you alot sometimes.”

The freckled man said as he touched Alexander's face, occasionally squishing the man's cheeks making the other snicker.

“Like, sometimes he'll come home drunk rambling about how cute ‘Alex’ was, and how sexy his ass was,” John grinned at the memory and sighed. “He has to feel something for you, Alex!" He exclaimed and held Alexander's hands, squeezing them. “We'll figure something out, i promise, cupcake.” He said, eyes calm. Reassuring. Promising. Generous. Alexander could melt. The man was gorgeous.

Alexander didn’t mean to change the topic, but the certain nickname sounded odd. 

“.. Cupcake?" Alexander raised an eyebrow, resisting to burst out in laughter.

“Yeah, cupcake. I called you that earlier too.”

Alexander shook his head with a smile and just sighed contently. A silence came upon them as they just looked into eachothers eyes, no tension in the air. Just... Them. A moment where nothing else existed around them. Just them. Both men's worries just washed away to the back of their head as they just stared at eachother, admiring every single detail about eachother. Alexander was secretly counting John's face freckles while John just tilted his head and confusedly looked at him. 

They stayed in their position before John broke the silence and reality dawned on both. “What are we gonna do now, Lex?" John asked, hands still on the caribbean's.

Alexander looked at the wall next to John, his thumb on his chin as he pretended to deeply think.

“Hmm.. Well, right now, i was thinking you.” 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> two men buy the same coffee at the same shop for Alexander.

It had been only about a week since that incident.

Alexander and John were still struggling on a way to tell Thomas, despite how easy they had first assumed it would be. Yeah..about that...they couldn't figure it out. At all. Well, sure, simply talking to him would be so much easier..but it'd be awkward, now, wouldn't it? John was okay with it but Alexander immediately screeched no at the first suggestion of it. And at that exact moment, John realized, this would be pretty difficult.

But, anything for his loves.

Today, John and Alexander were at Starbucks, the usual. Alexander ordered a Frappuccino and John a simple French vanilla. The smaller of the two was currently eating all of the banana bread at the place, ordering one after the other. That was, until the employee told him to just buy them all so he doesn't keep interrupting other customers.

He didn't mind. At all.

John was simply amused. He'd never seen a man devour bread like it was his first meal in months. Yet, he had to remember that it was Alexander he was talking about.

God, he loved him. So much. He was adorable.

Alexander wore actually really cute clothing today. He wore a tied up yellow shirt, showing half of his stomach and V line making John melt, accompanied with a dark green jacket over him that he was sure was Thomas', simply because he remembered how hot the man looked with it. But it really fit Alex too.

Then some black, ripped jeans and some white vans with it. He wore his hair down, but with a small bun in the back, and John realized how worth it was styling his hair today. He looked gorgeous with it.

John wore a simple sea - blue shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans, some bracelets on his wrists and a turtle necklace around his neck. He wore his curls in a ponytail, despite the fact that Alexander wanted his hair down, so it ended up in his front curls all over his shoulders and the rest in a ponytail. It didn't look bad anyway. His bright green eyes wore their usual shine and so did his sun - kissed skin. Beautiful as always. 

Alexander rested his cheek on his palm as he observed him dreamily, lips showing a love - struck smile as his eyes practically made out hearts. John laughed softly at his expression and cupped his warm cheeks before kissing his lips. "I love you." He whispered as Alexander leaned in the touch and nodded. "I love you too, freckles."

"..you haven't called me that in a while," John pointed out and tried to restrain his natural smile. "What? Freckles?" He nodded and Alexander rolled his eyes. "You like it?" John nodded again and nuzzled his neck, kissing it softly and caressing his shoulders. Alexander just giggled and intertwined his fingers in John's brunette curls, playing with them as John purred. He looked like a cat, it was so cute, John was so precious. Even if he was so much taller and muscular than Alex, the man wasn't intimidating to Alexander at all. He was just adorable.

John pulled away after a few minutes to drink some of his coffee, closing his eyes for a sole moment to take in the taste. Alexander watched him with a content sigh.

"Johnny? Can you get me some cookies? They sell them at the counter,"

"Pumpkin, you've asked 4 times and those 4 times I said no."

"Cmon..pleaaaase?"

"Nope." John shook his head as a jingle from the door was heard.

"Cmon, Johnny, pleeeeaaaaase? I'll do anything!"

"Alex, I love you, but you're so lazy," John snickered and nodded, "Fine, I will." He said and stood up from his seat, walking up to the counter as the Caribbean's eyes lit up and he cheered quietly. John went to the counter and skipped the line, since he was just asking for something small and he had cash, and put his finger up. Then he let out a, "Eep!" When he bumped into someone. "Sorry, sir, I just want something small and I'll be on my wa-"

He paused as he saw the man's expression and they both stared at each other for a good minute.

"I-Oh, hi, Tom," He smiled and scratched the back of his neck, grabbing the cookie he was given and opening it, taking a small bite. Alexander would kill him if it was any bigger. "Hey, John, what's up?" Thomas grinned at him and flicked his forehead, making the other pout.

"Oh, nothin', I'm just having some coffee."

"Want me to join you? I'm buying coffee for someone, but, we haven't hung out in a while."

"Ah..uh..I'm actually with someone else,"

"Oh, that's fine, I can just-" Thomas smiled before they were interrupted abruptly by someone behind John. "Johnny, what happened?" Alexander asked, turning John around as he pouted. John was honestly amused and in disbelief at the fact that the smaller of the three didn't hear, nor even saw Thomas. What? How did he not - ?

He might as well go with it?

"Nothing, just ordering something more. I'm hungry." John assured him and ruffled his hair as the other whined. "But I wanna be with youuuuu," Alexander squished John's cheeks and huffed.

Thomas watched them interact with wide eyes. What the hell?

His eyebrows furrowed in pure confusion as he stared at Alexander's pouty face. "You can wait, here," Said John's tender, suddenly warm sounding voice. The southerner's green eyes looked down lovingly into the brunette's, a tinted pink coming to his cheeks as he handed him his bitten chocolate chip cookie. Alexander kissed his cheek, "Thanks, Johnny," He chirped before walking off to his seat, eyes glued on his phone as the male sat down.

Thomas just stared. What else could he do? His throat felt too try to talk, and his body was freezed in its spot. He was still trying to somehow analyze what was going on, to get it through his brain. But he just stood there, dumbfounded at the sight before him.

...His crush knew his other crush and had a crush on his other crush? What?

John turned around again to face him, but slowly. He looked at him anxiously, eyes squinted a bit and mouth forming an awkward smile.

"...so this is the pretty boy you were talking about?" Thomas spoke first, cringing internally at the way his voice sounded all of a sudden. "Mmm-Maybe, look, ill explain-"

"Explain what?"

"A-Alexander-"

"John, I don't care that you're gay," Thomas cocked his head to the side and confusedly looked at him. John sputtered nonsense out randomly, eyes focused on the floor before he shook his head. "N-No! I know you don't! It's not that,"

What else would he explain then? John couldn't possibly have known that he knew Alexander, there was no way, so that obviously couldn't be it. But why did John look so nervous? Why did he look like he was about to faint? Sure, explaining to your best friend that you have a new boyfriend can be embarrassing, but the man looked like he'd drop on the floor any second. "Then whats wrong, Jacky?" Thomas laughed, though it was kind of forced, just to comfort the other man somehow. He patted John's head, despite him being almost his same height. "It's just that," John began, before he realized that this was a bit too long to explain. He wasn't explaining their complicated love life in front of everyone at a fucking Starbucks.

"You know what? Lets go outside," John said, but it came out as a whisper as he grabbed Thomas' hand. "And alex?"

"I'll text him." He nodded and they walked outside, John sending Alexander a brief message letting him know he'll be right back, not really specifying where. But Alexander just texted an, "Okay??" And that was enough at the moment.

They stood at a corner of the shop building, near the back as John stood a few steps from Thomas.

"So, What happened?"

"Simple..or long explanation?"

"Knowing you, a long explanation means you rambling for 20 minutes. Simple?" Thomas didn't mean to sound rude, he loved listening to John talk. But he ordered an extra cookie and the poor person at the counter was probably waiting.

"Alexander is my boyfriend." John started with that sole sentence, fingers shaking slightly as his eyes darted around their surroundings. The words made Thomas' stomach hurt. It felt like a dart was suddenly pointed and thrown right at him. Did the gods just decide to hate Thomas for no reason? Was this serious? He thought he could atleast end up with one of them...but no. Instead, they coincidentally fucking met and fell in love?

Really? This had to be a dream.

He...wasn't angry. No. He was upset. Heartbroken. Surprised? He couldn't find the right word to describe what he was feeling at that moment.

"And,,,Okay, to put it in better words," he hummed and looked up at Thomas. "I know you and Alex know each other. I know how you love Alex." John sighed and held Thomas' hands.

Thomas didn't like where this was going. At all. His mind was already predicting what John would say ;

_Im sorry, I didn't know. _

_I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. _

_Do you think we should move out so you can forget him easier? _

_I'm sorry, I wish i knew sooner. _

_I'm sorry. _

_I'm sorry. _

_I'm sorry. _

_I'm sorry. _

_I'm sorry. _

_I'm sorry. _

**No. **

Thomas didn't want pity. That was the last thing he would ever want.

"It's fine, John, you don't have to pity me. I can move out, if tha-"

"What?! No! That's the last thing I want you to do!"

"Then what's so complicated, Jacky?"

"I..." John paused and looked down at their hands, thinking about what to say next. He looked lost in his own thoughts, eyebrows furrowed as his lips stayed parted, like he was about to talk. But no words came out for a nice while.

Then he grabbed Thomas by the collar, making said male jump, and began talking, loudly.

"I love you!" John blurted out, eyes tightly shut as his cheeks burned up. His hands weren't holding Thomas' anymore, letting go of them as if they were on fire as he stepped back. "I l-love you, so fucking much, I always have, you're amazing, I-I-" He cut himself off before he went on a full rant with an anxious inhale. "Both Alexander and I love you. A lot." John scratched the back of his neck. "But, I-I know you don't like me, I know you love Alex more, obviously, so I don't know what-" Thomas kind of blurred out the rest of his rant, eyes widely open as his heart beated at a rapid pace.

Was John crying?

Fuck, he was.

His green, teary eyes looked directly into his as he continued to rant, voice gradually becoming more high - pitched and his breath getting even quicker than before. "John." Thomas tried, taking a hold of his hand before John let go. "And, I-I-I dont want you to hate me after this, i wanna stay friends if that's f-fine, but-"

"John," Thomas waved a hand in front of his face to catch his attention. Nope. Nada. "I-I've loved you for f-fucking years, fuck, but I know I shouldn't just ruin your cha-"

The aura around them became more tense as John's rambling just gave Thomas a headache, and his hands began shaking. How the hell was he gonna stop him now? John wouldn't calm down whatsoever.

Last attempt.

"John!" Thomas snapped before grabbing John by the collar and pressing their lips together, staring at John's wide eyes. The kiss was tender, loving, calm, soothing. Thomas' other hand slowly came to John's brunette curls, caressing them gently to help. John seemed to calm down a bit, shoulders slowly slumping as his arms wrapped around Thomas' neck.

Thomas closed his eyes after John finally did, kiss becoming more passionate as their lips moved together and their breaths became shorter and shorter. Thomas' now other free hand stroked John's cheek as said man purred and tilted his head to lean into the touch. He was adorable.

They pulled away slowly to breathe, lips hovering over each other as the couple made eye contact again.

"I love you, John," Thomas whispered against his lips as their foreheads touched. "So fucking much. So please calm down." He sighed and watched as John's eyes became teary again. Wait, fuck, did he sound too mean? Was he too rude? Did John not believe him? Well, Thomas wasn't good with words at all but he made it clear he loved John, fuckfuckfuck, no, what'd he -

His thoughts were cut off with another kiss, but this one was more quick and somewhat needy. Thomas nipped on John's lower lip as the other man moaned muffledly and parted his lips.

Then his tongue was making contact with John's, and it all became messy. "T-Tom," John tried to speak, but was interrupted by one of his own noises as Thomas' tongue made its way around his mouth.

Whilst they made out, Thomas murmured sweet nothings and confessions against his mouth. I love you's, you're so stunning, you taste amazing, god, I've been wanting this for years, etc. John just melted and his breath hitched when Thomas' hand went down his stomach, beginning to palm him before -

_ding! _

alex: where the hell r u??? im eating my poor food alone n ur coffees getting cold ;(

"Ignore it," Thomas mumbled, oblivious to whoever the hell decided to text John at this moment, continuing to kiss him as John looked down at his phone. "B-But-"

"But?"

"It's from Alex!"

Thomas' eyes grew wide, now fully remembering that fucking Alexander was there waiting for them. Fuuuuuck. Damnit.

Thomas pulled away with a faint groan, licking his lips as he stretched a bit and looked back at the cafe. "I guess we should go back, then?"

"Y-Yeah." John nodded and grabbed a certain hairpin that had fell during their little time together. John held in a snicker as he cocked his head to the side, holding the hairpin in his hands. "Yours?"

"...s-Shut it." Thomas rolled his eyes and snatched it back, snapping it on his curls and glaring playfully at John.

"You're adorable." John mumbled and kissed his lips once more. "I said, shut i-it-!" Thomas sighed and looked away. "Never," The brunette stuck his tongue out and he grabbed Thomas' hand before walking back into the shop.

There sat Alex, who's back faced them as he continued to eat the cookie that John had bought for himself at the beginning but never finished. Lil shit.

Thomas slowly walked behind him, a mischievous grin tugging at the corners of his lips. Then, he creeped up behind Alexander and said, "Darlin', don't you think it's a bit rude to gobble people's food up when they're not around?"

Alexander jumped and freezed at the familiar voice, perking up. "T-Thomas?!"

"You know it, babygirl."


End file.
